"It is what it is."
No, it's fucking not. It's not what YOU think it is. And I refuse to agree so that you can sleep better tonight. I hope you toss & turn; I hope the curiosity and the discomfort of not knowing and the uneasiness of our very obviously unstable relationship eats at you. I hope you realize that you did say mean things, that you did hurt me, and I hope you do regret it. When you are able to acknowledge ANY of that, I might say something. But in the meantime...
I am Marissa motherfucking Pearl Veldman.
No environmental change is going to stop that.