Stupid.

Stupid girl,
traditional broken heart,
LOST LOVE.
           Your stupidity stumps me.
           Utilizing your stupid, sly tactics,
You stupefied this stupid fucking soul.

Myself, so stupid.
Starting to summarize my stupid existence,
into a stupid surreal setting,
                               sleeping sound, Dreaming Sweetly,
           on some stupid silent island.

Our stupid crooked hearts,
beating smooth echoes across our stupid secret sanctuary,
staying satisfied with I, this stupid stump of matter.
You laying on my stupid chest,
   Stupid arms surrounding this body:
                     Your Being.


In stupid paradise,
late in some stupid hour,
                    just staring, stupid,
                             rooted,
                    watching you exhale.


"Stupid is as stupid does."


                         "Stupid will always be as stupid was."


Senseless stupid fantasy,
stupid stained stone throne,
supporting your stupid flesh,
saying your stupid story,
stupid ears, listening.
        Saying stupid goodbyes,
        Starting stupid plans
       about staying side-by-side,
Us both forgetting about your stupid HOPE.
       Stumbling inside stupid stupor,
       STUPID, STUCK.

Stupid images of stupid Eden,
       in my head.
Stupid self-righteous walls and ceilings,
submerged in stupid sticky blood.

YOUR STUPID FACE,
  stuck in space,
that STUPID FACE orbiting my stupid mind.
Sitting stupidly still synchronizing two destinies.

Seven stupid years into your stupid fucking marriage,
sex with some stupid someone
Saying 1-4-3,
    to someone you don't hardly know.
Stupid me,
                   stupid suicide.


So stupid,
     stupidly seeing you slip,
     through my stupid fingers.
SUCH STUPID LOVE CANNOT EXIST FOR STUPID ME.
                    Stupid words stupidly said.











This was written for/about me in 2008 while I was at Warren Wilson and I was getting quite ill... physically and in the head. I am the stupid girl. The seven years into marriage line is really the only bit that doesn't make sense to me still. He's a good writer, it's sad he was so mean to me. He wrote some beautifully sweet things about me, too, so I can't pretend this is all I ever heard/read. I just found it in my room and thought I'd share.